Posts Tagged ‘gifts’

‘Tis the season to be gifting

December 16, 2009

I spent three hours in the shopping mall yesterday. Well, two and a half hours in the actual mall – I’m sure I lost a half an hour circling the parking lot in search of a spot. When I finally got inside it was more of the same – weary shoppers circling aimlessly, a glazed look in their eyes. It may be more blessed to give than to receive, but deciding what to give can be downright stressful.

Generally, I think shopping is more stressful for women – particularly for the perfectionists among us who labour to find “just the right gift.” This particular stressor does not seem to affect the average male – or the particular kayaker I live with. Most men don’t seem to mind leaving their shopping till the last minute – or  letting their wives take the lead in gift decision-making. I’m pretty sure the three Wise Men wisely let their wives do the shopping for their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.

Perhaps some men are great gift shoppers; I can only comment on kayak guy. I once mentioned to K.G. that – hint hint – I was hoping for a better lighting system for my dark closet. Kayak guy’s nicely-wrapped gift?  A dive lamp. Yup. Here it is.

Track Lighting??

Me: A dive lamp??
He: Yeah, it’ll be great.
Me: I was picturing something along the lines of a track lighting system.
He: But you can shine a dive lamp into the darkest corners. It’s  more flexible – and extra bright!

Yes, if a shark is lurking there in back of my cardigans, I can now aim my dive lamp right at its eyeball and blind the sucker before it swallows a mouthful of angora. Those of you with screwed-in-place track lighting systems remain at risk of predators. Come to think of it, I am at equally at risk, since I currently need to replace the batteries in my dive lamp. But I’m not going to mention that to K.G. – you recall what happened previously (if not, see You Got Me What?).

Finding the perfect gift is always a challenge. Good luck with finding just the right gifts to fit those on your shopping list – and remember that, when it comes to love and laughter, one size fits all!

How do you manage the Christmas gifting? How about your mate?

© Judith Millar 2009. All rights reserved.

P.S. Thanks to all who voted for MillarLITE in the 2009 Canadian Blog Awards. We placed sixth in the “Humour” category. Unfortunately only the top five contenders go on to the finals – it’s done strictly by vote count – so MillarLITE  just missed the mark. But we had fun, and that’s what it’s all about!

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The Birthday Suit Blues

July 22, 2009

Eve with fig leavesYou may recall from last week’s post (“You Got Me WHAT?“) that some of my past birthday gifts have been, shall we say, underwhelming. I promised to share what my dear husband (sometimes known as “Kayak Guy”), got me for this birthday. As it turns out, he got me GOOD.

Kayak Guy was working all day. He’d announced the night before that he’d made dinner reservations at a restaurant overlooking the ocean. “Reservations for 8:00 p.m., so we can watch the sun set!” he’d announced proudly. Romantic! He’d redeemed himself – and then some.

I spent the day happily shopping with friends. Kayak Guy arrived home from work tired, and headed to bed for a nap. A while later, I too decided a nap made sense before a late night. I headed for the single bed in my office, so as not to disturb my slumbering kayaker. Not wanting to crush my clothes, I slipped them off, climbed under the covers and slept like a rock. 

Until the doorbell rang. I heard K.G. open the door (he maintains he thought I was in the back yard) … and with that, in came the PARTYGOERS, into my living room, to wish me a surprise “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”  There I was, trapped in my office – which is RIGHT off the living room, so no escape route!  – AND  my office has only a sliding pocket door made out of GLASS!!   Yes, we are talking BUTT NAKED – and an aging butt, at that. I huddled there under the covers, with partygoers hollering for me to come out!  AAAGGHH. 

K.G. hustled the guests onto the patio, where they all laughed themselves silly over the fact that I attended my birthday party in my BIRTHDAY SUIT ! – well, the first few minutes of the party, anyway.

If last year was underwhelming, this year sure wasn’t. I’ve always secretly wanted a surprise party, so K.G. scored a direct hit. A good time was had by all – including the blushing birthday girl.  That’s my TRUE birthday story. Got one to beat it?

© 2009 Judith Millar. All rights reserved.

You got me WHAT?

July 15, 2009

Husband bearing giftsI’ve got a birthday coming up. Which has got me thinking: What will he buy me this year?

Because, frankly, last year was a bust. Money was tight, so I may have casually mentioned, “Don’t get me anything for my birthday this year.” Which, as any reader in possession of a couple of X chromosomes will understand, does NOT mean: “Don’t get me ANYTHING for my birthday.” It simply means: “Don’t splurge. Money’s tight – don’t go all crazy.”

The day came. The day went by. Rien. Nada. Zip. Someone’s nose – could it have been mine?? – was severely out of joint.  There was a lump in that someone’s throat as, with bedtime approaching, she managed to choke out a weak: “You didn’t get me anything?

“Oh, I almost forgot,” he said, retrieving a small, wrapped package from his pocket. I ripped off the paper, and felt my jaw go slack. “You got me – batteries??!”

“They’re rechargeables!” he said. 

Rechargeables? Oh, alrighty then. 

He persisted: “Remember when you were upset because you could have gotten that great shot, but your camera batteries let you down?” I did remember. He looked genuinely thrilled to have pulled off a hat-trick:  He had found a gift I couldn’t deny needing; he had not blown the budget doing so; and he had, sure enough, surprised me.

I may be a writer – a supposed-communicator – but I haven’t mastered this cross-gender communication thing yet.  This year, as my big day approaches, I am keeping very quiet. I’ll let you know how things go.  And, in case they don’t, I’d LOVE to hear about the worst gift you ever got!  Misery loves company!

© 2009 Judith Millar. All rights reserved.