Posts Tagged ‘H1N1’

Home is where the remedies are

November 25, 2009

There’s an e-mail being passed around the internet suggesting people can use onions to combat the flu. Apparently an unpeeled onion can absorb flu virus and bacteria. The article advocates buying some onions and, without removing the dried outside layer, placing them in bowls around your home. This décor tip obviously will not make you the Martha Stewart of your block – but then again, if Martha comes down with chills and fever and you don’t, you will have the last laugh while she hacks away in her colour-co-ordinated mansion.

I’m not advocating skipping your swine or seasonal flu shot, but I can’t see how a little backup onion therapy could hurt. After all, a footnote in the same article states authoritatively that onion and garlic “saved many from the black plague years ago.” I don’t want the black plague and I know you don’t either, so don’t dismiss this onion thing out of hand … as I tried to tell Kayak Guy, when he inquired into our updated, onion-themed décor.

K.G. isn’t buying in. Maybe because he’s still ticked about the honey. I had read on the internet that honey can help with minor burns and sinusitis. Just coat the burn with honey, it said. So when K.G. complained about his sinuses, I suggested the same approach. Turns out the honey was supposed to go into some warm tea. Who knew?

After all, my friend Lovera had previously passed me an e-mail which advocated swabbing your nostrils each day with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water. Apparently this can “bring down the viral population” and help prevent any H1N1 molecules that might have attached in there from proliferating. K.G. happened to spot me with a swab stuck in each nostril. Not my best look, I admit. But if it makes the bad bugs back off, I’m up for an occasional salty swab.

Which is more than I can say for K.G. Even when his Kayak Ear was bothering him, he wouldn’t hear of using olive oil, which I was sure I’d read about on the Net as an ear remedy. Or maybe it was yogurt? No, the yogurt was for thrush. I’m not sure what thrush is, but I’m stocking up on fruit-bottom, just in case. I’d suggest you do the same. And while you’re at the store, don’t forget the onions for your coffee table display. An ounce of prevention . . .

What home remedies do you recommend?  (I can’t wait to try them out on K.G. 🙂 )

© Judith Millar 2009. All rights reserved.

Sleepless in Nanaimo

November 4, 2009

Counting sheepTwo weeks ago I mentioned that my short story “The Insomniac” had received the J.K. Galbraith Literary Award. People have been coming forward to offer congratulations (thanks for that) – and also to suggest tips about overcoming insomnia!

I welcome the advice, as I have never been a sound sleeper. One of the most inventive tips was suggested by my neighbour, Margaret. She maintains that you can help yourself fall asleep by touching your thumb to your index finger, and holding it there. Who knew? Crowing roosterApparently she does this nightly, and the next thing she knows, the cock is crowing. (Yes, we have a rooster in our vicinity.)

Thumb&fingerI tried out this new remedy the other night, and immediately realized I should have asked for more information. I couldn’t remember if my index finger was my pointer finger or my ring finger. I didn’t want to wake Kayak Guy from his kayak dreams to ask him which one was my index finger – he can get testy about things like that – and I hated to turn on the light to look it up in the dictionary.  So I decided to cover all bases by touching my thumbs to both my pointer and my ring fingers. I can confirm that this feels awkward. But then I got to thinking maybe it only felt awkward because I was doing it wrong. After all, I am a klutz.

I thought about calling Margaret, but it’s hard to dial without full use of your fingers. Plus, she was probably doing it right, and was already asleep. So I cannot, at this time, endorse the “thumb-index finger” insomnia-prevention technique. (If anyone has any better ideas, we insomniacs are all thumbs – I mean, all ears.)

Jumping sheepI can say with certainty that the renowned “counting sheep” technique has never helped me get any shut-eye. Especially not lately. Whenever I picture those bleating little beings launching their woolly little bodies over fences, I always picture them landing– and getting themselves all muddy in the barnyard.

Which gets me thinking about other barnyard critters. Like pigs. Which these days reminds me of swine flu. Which makes me wonder if I have already, somehow, come into contact with the H1N1 virus. Are flu molecules already attached and even now replicating in my nasal passages? Wide-eyed pigThey are. I can feel the itching! Is my throat beginning to hurt, just a little, toward the back? I think it is. It definitely is! Now my pulse is racing. Elevated pulse – is that a sign? It IS a sign: a sign that I am, once again, sleepless in Nanaimo –  and now, perhaps, another victim of the dreaded swine flu.

Anyone got tips for overcoming insomnia? (No barnyard-related remedies, please.)

© Judith Millar 2009. All rights reserved.