Last week’s post about bad ideas got me thinking about ideas in general – the Bright, the Not-So-Bright, and the Boldly Boneheaded. While Blisterpack (for me) leads the Bonehead pack, it’s had lots of “dim whim” contenders over the years. Remember the K-tel Clever Cutter? It was a pair of scissors – well, actually not a pair … just one blade, and a mini cutting board where the opposing blade ought to be! One of many brilliant inventions I’ve packaged up for garage sales after cleaning the kitchen and stemming the arterial bleeding.
One I haven’t been able to bring myself to part with yet is my ThighMaster™. I haven’t actually gotten around to using my ThighMaster™, but I can’t quite stop believing in its potential. I mean, have you seen Suzanne Somers’ thighs lately? They still look good! Plus my ThighMaster™ has no sharp edges, so it has yet to hurt me. It seems like a great idea!
How do they come up with these ideas? I could get rich if I could come up with some myself! I think it was Linus Pauling who said, “The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.” Easy for him to say. He was a genius in the fields of quantum chemistry, molecular biology and orthomolecular medicine. When I think of “orthomolecular medicine,” I picture teensy little molecules wearing itty bitty little orthopedic sneakers. Clearly Linus and I are not in the same idea league.
Still, I’ve had the odd good idea over the years. A few have even shown up in my limericks.
Here’s a practical one you can put to use tonight!
The secret of farting in bed
Is to pull the sheets snug ’round your head.
Now, discreetly, you moan
And deplete the ozone —
But lie still, or the damage will spread.
I hope that will help prime your idea pump, because time’s running out on the MillarLITE Limerick Contest. Your entry (or two, or three) must be e-mailed by next Wednesday, October 21st to be considered! Details here. I can’t wait to read your best ideas!
What boneheaded ideas have you spent your hard-earned dollars on?
© Judith Millar 2009. All rights reserved.
E-mail limerick entries to judy@judithmillar.com, subject line: Limerick Contest Entry.